Hey buddy!
I’m glad I finally get a chance to sit down and write. Baby stuff has taken over my life but we are very excited to have Harper with us in the next few weeks. Excited for you to meet your new little cousin when you return. Sounds like you are doing really well! I know you’ve had minor struggles and home sickness along the way, but it’s good to see you pumped and positive. Sounds like you’re doing a great job!
Hey listen, I know everyone has chimed in on the girl situation and you’re probably tired of talking about it at this point, but I wanted to try to talk to you about it as well because I’ve had the unwelcome pleasure of going through 3 life changing heart breaks that I never thought I’d recover from so I can speak to you from experience and hopefully put some perspective on things.
I had been with Alicia for 5 years, we were in love but it was more than that. It was how the family loved her, how much I loved her family and how much they loved me. It was the compliments I got on her from friends and how beautiful I thought she was. It was all the things I confided in her that no one else knew. When she left to college and I was playing baseball on the other side of the country, she met another guy and it was like I never existed. I was young at that time so I literally begged and cried for her back. I called her friends in desperate attempts to get a hold of her. It was the most clostraphobic feeling to know I could not just go over to her house and see her and try to win her back. I knew I could do nothing and I couldn’t bare it. I laid on the floor and cried like a baby for days. It was bad enough she was gone, but to think of her with another guy was unbareable!
I went through the exact same thing again with Christine and again with Tawny. Only each time got a little harder cuz I didn’t have that much room in my heart to love anyone else the way I loved these 3. I handled it better each time but it was harder each time. Gray, I don’t have the magic answer. It’s gonna hurt brother, it just is. But I found little comforts in knowing that I wasn’t the only guy this has ever happened to. In fact, it’s happened to most of us. What I found out was I could get over it quicker if I handled myself like a man. I didn’t do that with Alicia. I did better with Tawny and Christine and it did help. I didn’t call them everyday or cry to them. I simply let them go and once in a great while, because my heart still hurt, I would reach out and say hi. Most of the time to no reply.
I made life hard by always thinking of the worst possible scenario. “What is she doing with her new boyfriend now?” And of course I’d think the worst things, right? I spent about a year recovering from each breakup, and probably more than that with Tawny because I was getting older and felt my time was running out. And it didn’t help that she was as cute as she was. I’d think “there’s no possible way I could love someone that much again.” I’d tell myself that even if I could I wouldn’t want anyone else. I just trapped myself in misery all the time. It’s the reason I quit Baseball. It’s the reason I moved to Texas from California. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t get through a baseball lesson without telling my student I had to go to the restroom, really just so I could go cry for a second. I snapped at people that were trying to help me because I didn’t want to hear anything from anyone and knew no one could really understand. Bro, I was a mess. But those girls did not do that to me, I did that to myself.
I already know you’re better than I was. You’re gonna handle this way better than I ever did. But in case you feel similar in anyway, let me leave you with this: While I was bouncing from state to state, running away from my problems, quitting the game I loved, ruining relationships with people that cared about me....while all that was going on, God was calmly orchestrating this master plan for me. He was probably sitting up there heartbroken for me but excited for what he knew I had in store. And sure enough, He brought me the most beautiful, loyal woman I could ever imagine. He brought me this brand knew baby girl. He got me this great new job and a brand new home to live in. And to top it off, when all 3 ex’s saw how happy I was and how free of them I was, all of a sudden they started calling again. After the first picture I put up on Facebook of Misti and I, I got calls and messages literally that week from all 3 of them. Pretending to be happy for me but making sure to tell me how much they miss me. They knew I was a good guy and that they made a mistake and I was more than happy to ignore them. (I didn’t need it, but it was a nice revenge perk). When I pray now, I give thanks for those struggles I had back then, because without them, I wouldn’t have found what I was suppose to find.
God is orchestrating your plan right now. He’s sitting up there hurting for but smiling on the inside knowing what He has in store for you. You are a great guy, smart, handsome, athletic, strong.....worthy of any girl! So yes, it gonna hurt my friend, but remember that you have some girl out there that’s just waiting for you to find her. I know missionary work is your primary focus right now as it should be. But when you get home, it’ll be a fun journey for you trying to find her. All the dates you’ll go on and heartaches you might have to deal with...all of it is just leading you right where you’re suppose to go, whether you know it now or not. So do your best to keep your eye on the ball. Don’t let your head go to the places I let mine go. Oh and one final thing- get jacked so that everytime she sees you on Instagram, she knows she made a huge mistake. Hahaha. You’re gonna be just fine kid, keep that head up. Love ya!
Uncle Kev
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