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January 14, 2018 From Mom

Hello love!

All I can really focus on today is to find out from you if Sally wrote or not... because I know you are so focused on that right now.  I have two letters to write you basically, depending on the answer to that question. I'll address it a little later when we talk today.  Let me start by saying, I love you fiercely, Gray!  You are very loved.  We are so incredibly proud of you and I am in awe of the sacrifice you are making and how hard you are willing to work for the Lord. I can see already that you are an incredible missionary.

How is your new companion? I want to hear all about him.  Are you guys getting along?  You said he is a hard worker, what does that mean?  I'm sure this is a big change to your routine, but I hope (and have been praying) that he is a great comp and this is a good change for you.  This is your first opportunity to experience change with a comp.  I bet its weird at first.  But there will be new things to learn from each companionship.  So again, I'm praying that you are open to what you can learn and what you can give!  

We had a fun weekend.  We invited 5 other couples over on Friday night for a game night.  We had the Opfars, Thrashers, Steeds, Memorys and the Lelands.  It was a great group and we had a lot of fun!  They didn't leave until after midnight.  We played some good games and laughed at funny stories. The main one that cracked me up has to do with Maris trying to take a dump in his one piece garments that his mom bought him for his mission.  Just imagine all 250 lbs of Maris completely naked except for his socks and shoes trying to get his big butt out of the slit in the back of the one piece garments.  LOL!  Then on Sunday night we celebrated Pop Pops 78th birthday.  We had good food and played a Family Feud game that Kevin made up with things about PopPops life.  It was so funny.  We talked about you and everyone wrote you a little note that I'm going to mail to you this week.

We had another really cold week and may get snow tonight.  Abby and I are praying for a snow day:)  We haven't had one for a couple of years.  I think the last one was the time you and Abby went "sledding" up at Cockrill a few years ago.  

We received an announcement at church that Tuesday morning President Nelson will be broadcasting an announcement of the new prophet and who he selected (or rather who the Lord selected) as his counselors.  I'm really excited to watch.  I remember about 1 year ago when we watched April Conference I thought that President Nelson's talk was really powerful and that I could almost feel the transfer of the mantle of the calling of prophet being transferred.  It seemed both President Nelson and President Monson, which gave his last talk that conference, spoke with such power that I could feel the spirit so strongly.  Here is some of what President Nelson said that I think applies to you:

"Our Heavenly Father never intended that we would deal with the maze of personal problems and social issues on our own.  God so loved the world that He sent His Only Begotten Son to help us.3 And His Son, Jesus Christ, gave His life for us. All so that we could have access to godly power—power sufficient to deal with the burdens, obstacles, and temptations of our day... 
Do you remember the biblical story of the woman who suffered for 12 years with a debilitating problem?19 She exercised great faith in the Savior, exclaiming, “If I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole.” This faithful, focused woman needed to stretch as far as she could to access His power. Her physical stretching was symbolic of her spiritual stretching.  Many of us have cried out from the depths of our hearts a variation of this woman’s words: “If I could spiritually stretch enough to draw the Savior’s power into my life, I would know how to handle my heart-wrenching situation. I would know what to do. And I would have the power to do it.
When you reach up for the Lord’s power in your life with the same intensity that a drowning person has when grasping and gasping for air, power from Jesus Christ will be yours. When the Savior knows you truly want to reach up to Him—when He can feel that the greatest desire of your heart is to draw His power into your life—you will be led by the Holy Ghost to know exactly what you should do.  When you spiritually stretch beyond anything you have ever done before, then His power will flow into you."
I won't say much about Sally here until I know how it went this week.  But I will say this.  I think she is making your mission really tough right now G.  If she was being supportive you wouldn't be worrying about her every moment of the day.  But she is a big distraction for you right now.  I hope that whatever happens today, you can think about the words from President Nelson that I wrote above and you can reach for your Savior like you never have before.  The power of His atonement can help you overcome worry and heart ache and help you make decisions.  It is a REAL power that can deliver His peace when you ask for it and live worthy to receive it.  I know you need that power right now.  I feel strongly that you receiving your wallet back was a sign from Him telling you He knows you, He is aware of your struggles and He loves you and will help you.  
I have known heart ache in my life.  I remember after breaking up with Rob at BYU because  he was cheating on me.  I sat in the bathtub playing sad love songs and bawled my eyes out for many days.  But on last Friday night, when I was sitting next to dad, playing games with these great couples and laughing my head off, I distinctly thought "what a great life I have." I thought about you specifically and how you and Sally may or may not end up together and you may have some real heart ache to go through.  But I promise that one day you'll be sitting next to your wife, thinking about your children and the life you've created together, and you're going to be so grateful for all the decisions that led you to that point and you too will think, "What a great life I have."  
No matter what happens today, you are going to be okay and you have amazing blessings that are happening now... and are waiting for you.  I love you so much Gray!  You are extraordinary.  That is the best word i can use to describe you.  Beyond the ordinary in a special way!  Have a wonderful week!  Dive into His work and this adventure.  Tell me about some things that made you joyful this week.  Tell me a miracle that you saw.  
You are a miracle to me.
I love you with every ounce of my heart.  You run through my thoughts all day, everyday.  I'm never far from you.  
xoxoxo
mom

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its ok mom. just sad and confused. but i know the lord has a plan. just dont understand why it had to happen this way.  she is dating someone i think. he kinda looks like me lol except he has huge ears. your right. its just time to turn a corner. no matter how hard that is. im gonna write her a letter today just telling her how i feel and be done with it. im being transferred. I will go to Jardim Simos and be with an elder I dont know. I will be the senior companion which is really cool. Hes a brazilian, just finished his traning, and has about only 3 months on the mission. Im so glad and relieved. i was just ready to leave aguiar. he is just a difficult person sometimes.  love you mom.  yeah that sounds really difficult and probably something that would be really hard to do at the mission office haha. ok thank you for looking it up.  I love you so freaking much mom! You are my hero! Sorry that it has to be all annoying like this. I will defini...

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