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January 21, 2018 - From Mom

Hello my sweet son! I am so freaking excited to talk to you today.  I know you were struggling so much last Monday and so I was heartbroken too.  We had a wonderful family fast for you on Wednesday and I felt so much peace that things would work out for you and all would be good.  I have prayed constantly that you have been able to feel some peace and comfort this week.  I know this is so tough, G.  

I hope you will forgive me because I read Sally's letter to you.  We have been praying and struggling and dying right along side of you for her to respond to your questions.  We have checked your inbox 6 times each day.  We (the four of us, Sam, Abby, Dad and I) have been talking about this non stop because we love you and are dying because you have been hurting.  I just want to give you some things to think about after reading her letter.

She is NOT writing you off.  She has said nothing has changed so you need to go with that. And, I actually think she is right in that you need to write less romantic letters so that you can both focus on the place you are in life right now.  I'm not thrilled with her tone and it bothers me so much that she calls you out for breaking the rules... but I'll get to that in a minute.  But I think it is hopeful and how you proceed next is important.  

This is hopeful and this is a reminder of actually how you two should progress through these two years.  You both need to focus on what stage of life you are in.  You have an amazing work to do at this time in your life.  A time you will never have again.  I want you to grow and learn and change and love this time!  And I know you can if you are not overly focused on Sally.  Love these amazing people.  Teach them and bring them the hope of the gospel.  That is how to make your time move quickly and make an important contribution.  That is how to make a difference in the lives of others and in your own.

Let me tell you how you need to respond to her.  Think carefully about how you want to reply to her.  If you want to keep your relationship going, you need to do things that are attractive to her.  You need to show strength, be positive, be confident, be kind and loving but not too much!  Tell her about some of the things you are going through.  Good and bad.  Sharing info will help your relationship grow.  Ask her about the things going on in her life but make it a balance. A give and take of info.

Sometimes young girls want what they can't have.  Its a really stupid thing immature girls suffer from.  But it is true.  So being a little aloof sometimes isn't a bad thing.  I know that isn't who you are.  It isn't who Sam is either.  But he has had to learn how to play that game a little.  She has set a new tone for you guys moving forward.  So honor that but still be you.  You are who she fell madly in love with.  Just protect your heart a little... please.  Move forward with confidence in Heavenly Father's plan for you.

Here are some more things to think about.  When Sally struggled so much early on, you showed compassion to her and understanding.  When you struggled for one day, I think she didn't show any of that.  I think Sally is pretty selfish actually and I hope if you do end up with her she grows and matures because I'm not happy at all with the way she has treated you. You deserve MUCH better than this Gray. I think you are a little blinded to that right now but it is something you need to think about.  The way she responded (or actually didn't respond) bothers me a lot!  She could have replied to you on Monday just to put you at ease but she left you hanging only to increase your anxiety and suffering.  So you are really going to need to pull back in your communication to her and not make it so romantic.  Be kind and loving because that is who you are.  But be strong and confident too!  Because that is who you are also.  Don't act like you did something to make her feelings change.  That isn't possible because you have treated her like a queen!  Know that you have done things right!  You are an amazing catch Gray!  Sally or any great young woman will be more than lucky to end up with you.  Own that and it makes you so much more attractive.  I don't mean to brag about things, I just mean to write letters full of confidence in what you are doing and who you are and what you are learning.  

Here is my quote of the day for you... "God expects you to have enough faith and determination and enough trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. In fact, He expects you not simply to face the future, He expects you to embrace and shape the future - to love it and rejoice in it and delight in your opportunities.  God is anxiously waiting to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams just as he always has." - Elder Holland 
  
I'm praying for peace and comfort for you.  Know that we LOVE you GRAY!!!  Our hearts have been torn up for you.  We are all here for you and one your side... cheering for you every step of the way.  Be happy!   Be hopeful!  All things work for your good when you love and serve the Lord!

You are my heart Gray!  Have a good day and feel our love!

mom

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its ok mom. just sad and confused. but i know the lord has a plan. just dont understand why it had to happen this way.  she is dating someone i think. he kinda looks like me lol except he has huge ears. your right. its just time to turn a corner. no matter how hard that is. im gonna write her a letter today just telling her how i feel and be done with it. im being transferred. I will go to Jardim Simos and be with an elder I dont know. I will be the senior companion which is really cool. Hes a brazilian, just finished his traning, and has about only 3 months on the mission. Im so glad and relieved. i was just ready to leave aguiar. he is just a difficult person sometimes.  love you mom.  yeah that sounds really difficult and probably something that would be really hard to do at the mission office haha. ok thank you for looking it up.  I love you so freaking much mom! You are my hero! Sorry that it has to be all annoying like this. I will defini...

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