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February 26, 2018 from Gray

Hi momma! first of all, thank you for all your prayers, thoughts, and fast. I know i have had a lot of help from all around the world this week. My new comp is awesome. He is a cool cool dude and we get along super well. but what i like most about him is he has a super strong testimony. He teaches better than anyone i know. he always uses comparisons and stuff like that. He truly connects with people and we have both been able to learn a lot from eachother i think. I also think senior comp was one thing i really needed. it gave me just enough responsibility to step up a little. I talk a lot in lessons, i do lots of contacts, i do all the things that i know an example of a senior companion should do. i have seen those decisions bless me and really bless my port. also. Alvarenga helps me a ton with port. and i help him with english so its really good practice and im improving a lot. 

My district leader is ehh. definitely seen much better, but its not a super big deal. my district is ehh also haha. zone leaders and zone are the same way. my old leaders and zone were much better, but thats really not a big deal. As long as ive got alvarenga for now, im good. There is no americans in my district, but there is a couple in my zone including an elder miller from cali that i really like. he is a district leader of another district in my zone. 

transfer meetings are just chill and all the missionaries do is just talk with another. only the ones that get transferred go, but its still pretty cool. i got to see the whole training thing again since i went with aguiar (hes gonna train in freguesia). It was kinda funny, i actually understood everything, unlike my first day! hahah. But i love transfers, zone meetings, interviews, etc. cause it gives you a chance to talk with other missionaries. Its kinda like fuel for your mission. you see these other people doing what you are doing and it helps boost you a lot. so that was good. 

The work is muchhhhhh different here. it is a good area i think overall. but its very very small and there is no one on the street lol. in freguesia youd walk past someone every 5 seconds but here its very rare. so its a whole different type of work but ive enjoyed the challenge. people also give you much more time here cause its just a lot more laid back and people arent just running to work or something like you are in new york city. Alvarenga didnt have too much when i got here, but its been alright. We brought an older man to church this week named ari. He needs to quit smoking big time but i really think he likes our church and sees the truth in it. May take another 2 weeks with him, but we will see. going to visit him tonight! Have another family that none of them came to church which sucked but at their house they all seem super interested. Especially this one 15 year old girl ketelyn. she went and looked up stuff about the church cause she was so interested. we helped take away her doubts and questions and it was super good. 

thank you for that quote it is awesome. I was mostly good this week mom. I got on my knees on monday night and completely gave my entire heart and mind to Heavenly Father through prayer. It was a tough day, and to be completely honest i didnt feel too much during that prayer. I felt like i should be getting some kind of major comfort after what happened to me. Although it has come in little pieces throughout the week, it wasnt how i expected it to come. The Lords hand during this trial has come in the way ive been able to forget about it all and get to work. honestly what i went through was my worst nightmare on monday. it was something i had thought about from the time i went on my first date with sally. but how bad it was, the Lord has given me so much strength in that i just havent thought about it much this week. it made me super happy knowing that he was helping me in that way. I just got to work and hardly thought about her. Honestly today had been my toughest day. i finally had a little time to think about it. still doesnt make a ton of sense to me. but i know theres nothing i can do about it now. during the week it was kinda just a thought that would run through my head that scared me every time. i'd think about the words "ive started dating someone else" and it just sucked to think about that. It felt like it was literally Satan trying to put me down and get my head out of the mission. I also dreamed of her a couple times lol so thats been awesome. but also another piece of comfort i have gotten is today. She sent me and email in return and it gave me lots of comfort. she kind of admitted to being wrong in a few ways and she said she promises she will think long and hard before she makes any kind of real decision. she said she was super impressed with my response. Brother eckel also sent me and an email and it made me feel better. i think they both kind of intended to say its not over til its over, but this is definitely giving me a chance to give my all to my mission. At this point, ive totally made myself accept the fact that most likely i will marry someone else, but maybe this was part of all the plan. maybe it went like this so i could focus on my mission, she could try dating out, and then i come home and she realizes she didnt date anyone else like me. Dont think that im counting on that or anything, but maybe that would be why. If not, then i know ive gone through this cause sally really isnt the one for me and ill find a greater happiness with someone else. Ill continue to look for some answers and comfort, but for now im just gonna give my all to the lord as i enter the main chunk of my mission. 

ill be ok mom. its hard, the hardest thing and time ive ever had in my life but i know ill be ok. The Lord will give me strength and understanding. 

love you mom so much. thank you for everything
elder g

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its ok mom. just sad and confused. but i know the lord has a plan. just dont understand why it had to happen this way.  she is dating someone i think. he kinda looks like me lol except he has huge ears. your right. its just time to turn a corner. no matter how hard that is. im gonna write her a letter today just telling her how i feel and be done with it. im being transferred. I will go to Jardim Simos and be with an elder I dont know. I will be the senior companion which is really cool. Hes a brazilian, just finished his traning, and has about only 3 months on the mission. Im so glad and relieved. i was just ready to leave aguiar. he is just a difficult person sometimes.  love you mom.  yeah that sounds really difficult and probably something that would be really hard to do at the mission office haha. ok thank you for looking it up.  I love you so freaking much mom! You are my hero! Sorry that it has to be all annoying like this. I will defini...

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