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June 25, 2019 from Gray

I feel very bittersweet as well. Its so hard to just not be swirled by a million feelings about the end of my mission. its a little hard i wont lie. Theres lots of happy thoughts about coming home, but also lots of sad thoughts thinking that my time as a missionary is coming to an end. Yesterday, there was a leadership meeting (which we honestly dont even participate in as secretaries). But i walked in to do something with president and i walked in right in the moment that the veterans were bearing there testimonies. Ugh that kinda just tore me up. It was the first time i realized it was really coming to an end. Because people from my group were bearing their testimonies of their missions. It was a really weird feeling. Im scared for it all to end lol. but also i cant wait to see what this new start will do for me. 

Bruh if you guys are gonna be working on the bathroom while im home for a month, id rather you guys just wait till im at college and start then. 

Ok I was gonna talk to you about doctor appts anyway so thats good. 

So a cool miracle this week was when we decided to send texts to all our ex investigators to check in on them and see if we could respark their interest. This one lady told us that we had disappeared and that she wanted to come to church this week. It was super surprising cause we had taught her like one time, and then we ended up cutting her cause she didnt go to church a couple weeks in a row. But all the sudden she seemed much more interested and she went this sunday! SHE LOVED CHURCH! We walked into her house a couple nights and she literally just gleamed telling us about all the things she liked and how she was able to learn so much about how to better her life. I knew she had felt the spirit very strongly. I felt the spirit in our lesson and she is super excited about showing her husband and her other daughter the church. We have a party for this holiday called "São João" at our chapel this saturday. So it will be a good opportunity to get investigators integrated in the ward and more comfortable with the church. 

Mom, that story is beautiful. It makes me emotional just reading it. I have felt like both those missionaries. I hope that the Lord has seen my efforts in these last 2 years and that He can see that I gave my best for this gospel and to show everyone in this city about the one single thing that has changed my life the most. I feel overwhelmingly grateful for the gospel and for the chance to serve my Lord for 2 years. President Ribeiro always says "Dont go home without getting to know who your Savior is". I feel like ive been able to really get to know my Savior through my studies and experiences ive had on my mission. But i think maybe even more importantly I know that my Savior knows me. I know he is always looking over me and that he knows exactly how I feel. He comforts me in times of need, and humbles me when Im too high. I feel overwhelmingly grateful for my Savior as well and for the chances and opportunities He has given me to preach His gospel in these 2 years.

Im very excited for the royal treatment as well mom. My blistered feet, aching back, baggy eyes, and sore legs could use it. But I would do it all again for my Savior if he asked me cause i know its nothing compared to what He has done for me. 

I love you mom. I guess the struggle has started really realizing that this is all coming to an end. Its very sad to me. But I know the Savior will continue guiding me down His path after my mission. 
Elder Gurksnis

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